Night Vale Announcements
28
"Help I entered the dog park WHAT SHOULD I DO?"
asked by: kawaiibitch2000

Nothing. You are helpless. There is nothing you can do, and soon, you will never be able to do anything ever again.

Oh look, now your body is slowly drifting into the void
You are now simply a floating consciousness, carried by the wind.
We hope you enjoy your experience as a disembodied soul.
Please address any comments or complaints to City Hall.

-Night Vale Announcements

86
tagged as:
# announcement
# psa
PSA

Night Vale Announcements would like to apologize for it’s lack of activity these pass few months. Our employees have been absent from this universe and have just recently returned. We hope that they shall resume providing our Citizens with helpful tricks and tips, advice, and glow cloud rituals. Thank you for understanding, Citizens.

All hail the glow cloud

28
"I think I have romantic feelings for my best friend. WHY is this happening? Do I tell him about this? How will I be able to look at him the same way? What he feels the same? Will it destroy our friendship? Is this the fault of desert bluffs?"

Desert Bluffs is always at fault
Never doubt that, Citizen.
Never.

-Night Vale Announcements

18
tagged as:
# anonymous
# answered
"Uhh there are several bloody eyeless office workers encircleing my home send help. Please?"
asked by: Anonymous

Nah

14
tagged as:
# anonymous
# answered
"There is an old oak door with a brass knob on it in my living room. Can you tell me how to get rid of it?"
asked by: Anonymous

We suggest getting rid of it by removing it from your home

6
tagged as:
# anonymous
# answered
"Hi! As a newbie to night vale where would I find the episodes, maybe for free? Thanks!"
asked by: Anonymous

Hello, Citizen. Here is a link to all the Night Vale episodes. This is also where you will find new episodes twice a month. 

http://podbay.fm/show/536258179

- Night Vale Announcements

18869
tagged as:
# post
# reblog
rooks-and-ravens:

Shit, man. Canada is fucking metal.

rooks-and-ravens:

Shit, man. Canada is fucking metal.

40
tagged as:
# anonymous
# answered
"Storage grey people with orange horns and fangs have been showing up to my house warning me about a game called "SBURB". I have a copy of this game and now I'm wondering if I should still play it. What do you think I should do?"
asked by: Anonymous

We think it’s a great idea! Just be sure to avoid to the subject of buckets. We’ve heard compliants from the gray citizens about how the citizens of Night Vale should not mention buckets around them. We aren’t sure why. Just roll with it

-Night Vale Announcements

323611
tagged as:
# post
# reblog

ppyajunebug:

Wayne Brady has reached the level of Eternal Scout

(Source: sandandglass)

9
"for pencil anon, both I and twelve of my closest demonic cohorts have had the same problem, we found that hailing the glow cloud with the pencil in hand causes the pencil's energy to be absorbed into the all knowing omnipotence of the glow cloud"
asked by: Anonymous

Thank you for your words of advice, Citizen.

                                                                 -Night Vale Announcements